Sunday, May 3, 2009

the fishbowl...

So one of the things about living in a bit of a fishbowl is... people seem to have free license to say whatever is on their minds.  It's an interesting situation to be in.  We put ourselves out into the middle of the room, we are fundamentally social people (just came from a lively dinner party with friends after 12 straight days of having dinner parties at the restaurant...); we love to talk!  Sometimes though, I am surprised by what people will say to me.  I have had people ask very intimate details about Alex and my relationship.  I have been asked (a few times) if I am pregnant and alternately if I am sick (after I took up running).   I also had a woman tell me I should get breast reduction surgery.  Let me tell you, the impact of all of this on getting dressed to go to work can be enormous.  

Friday was a particularly rough day in my world and I went into work deflated.  For the first few hours, I struggled with being present and tending to people.  I kind of felt like I needed someone to tend to me...  But, as the evening bumped along (really, it felt less-than-smooth), I started to gain energy from the people in the room - the servers, the bussers, the kitchen staff and the customers.  That is a delightful little moment in any day, a slight shift takes place in my body, my awareness, my abilities, and I relish every moment.  

Even when people say kind of weird things to me.