The Jitters

Every night, before coming to the restaurant, I go through a ritual.  I pick out my clothes (black or black - you'd think it wouldn't be as tricky as it turns out to be), I do my hair, put on make-up, choose my jewelry and say good-bye to my children.  Each kid has a different way of letting me go: Ursula gives me long hugs, Sasha squeezes me so tight I feel a little bit lightheaded and then tries to lift me up off my feet, and Olivia cries a little and asks me to stay home, the whole time giving me multiple neck hugs and kissing me on both cheeks like some continental diva.  I get in my van and start the drive.  When I am about 3 blocks before the restaurant, I get this nervous, jittery feeling and it builds and builds until I park the van and go into the building.  I love this and hate it.  Every night, I say to myself, 'Really, you're being ridiculous.  Why are you nervous?  It's your restaurant, it'll be fine.'  But, every night I am.

Tonight, more so than usual.

It was my first night back at the restaurant in 10 days.  We have just returned from a holiday and I felt like I was starting all over.  Going in, I think that I'm going to forget how to pour drinks or spill things or drop things.  And, of course, I do.  I dropped more cutlery than I have in months (and a coffee cup - right in the middle of the room - just dropped it).  I couldn't read the reso sheet and I confused people at the door.  I forgot to take a reso's phone number and I wrote in ink in the book (a cardinal sin if ever there was one...)  Generally, I was a disaster.  

I LOVED every minute of it!  I was this bumbling, nervous girl and I still had a great time.  Customers were funny and sweet and the staff was gentle with me.  I'm very lucky.

When Alex started doing a blog, we thought it would be fun to have some front of the house representation.  It's also a place to talk about being a mom and running a restaurant and being a woman in business.  It's quite the ride and I'm looking forward to writing about it.