Performing Happy

Saturday was a tough night.  My apologies to all the lovely customers.

Almost exactly 16 years ago, Alex and I got married.  We bought our first house and, for Christmas that year, I gave Alex a gift certificate to the Humane Society for a dog.  It was early spring when we felt ready to go and pick out a dog.  Actually, 'ready' might be an overstatement - I called our friends and asked that they come with us because I'm a big suck and would wind up crying incessantly over all the dogs we couldn't take home.  Alex and Brent went inside while Jaik and I waited outside.  A little while later, Alex and Brent emerged with a small, black dog that didn't look anything like our predetermined decision to seek out a black lab.  She wanted to run so Alex started to run with her and she immediately laid down.  She laid there for a minute and then got up and started to run again.  This scenario repeated itself several times.  We realized that when she felt unsure about the situation, she laid down.  Clearly, this was the dog for us.  It also turned out that her birthday was our wedding day of five months previous.  It seemed like a great fit.  The "Dog of the Day" at the Humane Society was named Lily which we thought was a pretty name and took it for our new dog (anyone who has seen our yard will know that Alex has a big thing for lilies and we have many of them.)

Lily came home with us and fit in quite well.  She was incredibly well-behaved. We figured out she had been abused by a silver-haired man (had an intense fear of them) and she had been abused with shovels and brooms (she feared both.)  We spent a lot of time giving her lots of love.  She only barked when someone came to the door, she loved to run at the park and she slept through the night.  After a few weeks, we came home one night and she had had diarrhea all over the floor.  She went into the cupboard under the sink and got out the paper towel, pulled off bits of it and tried to 'clean' up the mess.  That night was the beginning of her being very sick.  She had parvo-virus and was incredibly sick.  For weeks, Alex had to carry her up the stairs at night and we would steam her in the bathroom.  One vet told us that we should put her down (while simultaneously telling us we needed to brush her teeth and selling us very expensive toothpaste!)  In the end, she recovered and lived a healthy and happy life, full of trips to the park and very exciting canoe trips (often involving a lot of wildlife!)  

Saturday, Lily died.  

She had been increasingly unwell.  Lily was deaf and mostly blind.  She had trouble walking and she insisted on being outside all the time.  She was often confused and would bang into things.  She was a coming to the end but of course when it happened our hearts melted.  Alex took her to the vet and made the decision that she was in too much pain to keep alive.  We all cried a lot.  

Then, Saturday night at the restaurant is upon us.  There is a lesson in performing!  We both felt like we had been hit by a truck: dazed, confused, sad, and hurting.  But, when you go for dinner, these are not the kind of people you want to hang around so we had to suck it up.  It was hard but in some ways, it was good for us.  We definitely weren't at our best but we made the evening flow and except for being a bit disconnected, I think it went okay.  So, my apologies to the customers that I didn't visit a lot with (girls from California - really wanted to know more of your stories!) and for being distracted (guy at 2A whose wine order I forgot!) Thanks also to the staff who were wonderful.  Especially Roger who was almost as sad as we were.  

Fortunately, we are all well-versed in performing happy.